Additionally, when I found what I had actually written, I was surprised to see that I had a lucid dream as far back as that even though I didn't know enough to call it so-- and maybe it was a false lucid dream, and my past self declined to write down what exactly I did with that lucidity. I suppose it's not something anybody ever really expects to forget.
The sleep paralysis part where I was floating two inches above myself surprised and interested me, and to a lesser degree so did the dim recollection that the nightmare pet dog that we'd had at the time was vomiting black beetles on me in the second paralysis episode which was why I was shouting. I'm also remembering another, far less nightmarish, experience, where I fell asleep but fell up and could see my room and, once I moved up through the roof without any trouble, I could see my whole neighborhood.
Once I find that entry, I'll add it to this blog too. They hadn't been added before, because for the longest time, I'd considered them very shallow and accidental experiences that weren't much more than dreams. The touchbacks that I'm seeing to what has become my "real" practice, is very interesting for me to consider.
But not so interesting that I'd peruse all my pre-2005 journals, because the way I wrote back then makes me cringe. I changed the name I used for sibling there and then to the Sibling identifier that I use here and now, and any other edits are in bolded brackets.
2003/06/08
So. I had this dream that Mum, Sibling, and I were shopping. Shopping with Mum and Sibling usually melts my brain after twenty minutes, but (in my dreams) I was enjoying this shopping trip. There were DVDs, and delicate green jade bracelets, and ivory hair pins, and this nice blue suede rucksack, and huge nail clippers for some reason. Then I was in the car to the airport dropping Mum and Sibling off. Then I sat on the grassy part of the airplane runway, and watched the sky. There were lots of moons, brown with gray clouds thrown over them. I don't know why that scene made me feel sick.
Then I was in the computer lab at school. Then I was in the basketball court at school, where someone handed me a brown envelope. Then the wind began to blow, and the brown envelope was acting like Mary Poppins umbrella and pulling me up. I think I got stuck in a tree.
I'm not usually aware that I'm dreaming when I am, but this time I was, and got the idea that dreaming was just another form of astral projection, and I could project myself anywhere in the physical world. So I did, or dreamt that I did. That's me, still a fluffy idiot.
I think I woke up in bed, but the colors were different, definitely more intense, mostly deep red. I was floating about an inch above my physical body, and I was paralyzed. When I could finally regain control over conscious movement, I ran to the door, then looked back and saw the laptop on the bed, on and open, with big letters typed on the screen: YOU HAVE A NEW MESSAGE. So I walked over to see what the message was, then Sibling's phone, also on the bed, started ringing. I picked that up, then looked up and saw at the corner of the bed, was [our dog] climbing on[to the mattress]. Except, her head was bowed and she was glaring at me, and her limbs were longer, and she was crawling on to the bed like a spider. It was creepy.
I saw past her that I left the door open, and there was [our dog, the "real" not creepy spider one], running down the stairs. Then I lay back down on the bed and started shouting "Stop it!" and "Go away!", but it was like my mouth was crammed with nougat, it all came out funny.
Then I woke up.
If anyone else has had an experience of "seeing red" in anything like that capacity, I'd be very interested to read it!
The first time I was there I was pulled up into a tree in my back yard so quickly that I only saw looking down through leaves. Not knowing jack and waiting for something else to happen, I was then violently pushed as if by the head toward the rock in the center of my circle garden. I saw it coming fast at me and my inner fighter came out and I turned and pushed as much energy as I had back at what was pushing me and it stopped.But in a split I was slammed back in my bed sitting up and rubbing my head as if it had been hit. That time was mostly deep red in hue.
ReplyDeleteThere've been two other times. And the second is when I noticed the amberish hue to the red. I was pulled again and was outside of my back door but high up and looking down at the lot next door where the cars park. I don't know why I was there, but I was able to look around in front of the houses and I could sense there were entities there, and their feelings I guess. Not pretty stuff. I felt pushed once but I pushed back and it stopped. Still, a bit after that push back I was slammed back into my body.
The last time I was there the hue had turned to more blue tones and I met a deceased person and took him to my circle and once there a cloud of sorts came outside of the circle and it held some light, but muffled, like the light was on the inside and I was not to see it. I tried to communicate with the cloud because I thought, why not? But I got the distinct impression it was not for me but only for the man and he went into it. Dissolved into it. And then it lifted like fog and disappeared. Then everything was red amber again and I began to move toward the entrance to the circle and another man was standing there and his eyes were scared and enormous. He ran away as if he'd seen the scariest thing imaginable. Then I was back in body. No slam back this time.
To me these were different than lucid dream because I knew where my body was. I could tell where the cats were on the bed next to me. I could hear myself in my body. I knew what time it was and I knew I'd be sitting up and going to the computer to write it down as soon as I was back in body. I never felt asleep at all. I want to know more about it. Also, there was very little of dream like quality to it. At first I did not think I could push back or use anything I'd learned prior.
The entities there are the only ones who seem ignorant of the other levels. Like they are blinded by whatever their issue may be. Fear, rage, hunger what have you. Unpleasant. And at another level where it seems like all can be seen, this place is far back in a dense wood. Small, like insects.
I had to laugh about cringing while reading your old writing. I do the same. But great ideas can be inspired from that.
Hey, I wonder if the feeling of being slammed back into body corresponds to waking from sleep paralysis. Usually when that happens I am aware of it and wait it out, but these times it was being slammed into body. I know I gasped for air though.
I hope you get more input here. I think the more information about this place the better.
Thanks so much for taking the time to share with me all of that :D
DeleteGenerally, it doesn't sound pleasant, so it's really low on my list to consciously explore that place... but, you're totally right, the more that we hear from people who have stumbled into that place, too, hopefully, the better-prepared we can all be in the future.
I had a sleep paralysis event in Germany with the words "mona rot". Rot means red in German. Now I'm curious!
ReplyDeleteHee! I wanted to stick a flag on that plane and name it Muspel, but if there is actually a Muspel then it might get confusing. Muspelchen?
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