Intuition: A Broken Bridge

A very close friend, whose family was abroad, stayed with me and my family as she looked for a job. She had applied at the Spanish embassy, being quite fluent, and was excited about it.

You're not going to get it, my intuition told me.

I was horrified that I'd think those words. Why was I so spiteful and envious? I should be happy for her. I reached out to whatever part of me had produced that thought, and changed its quality: You will get that job.

"I was banking on that," she groaned, weeks later, when her application had been declined. I wish I'd told her not to rest her laurels, but a positive spin hadn't been in that first negative thought. Not spite or envy, either, actually.

Put your extended family's address there, an impulse came on a tarot card order.

That was not a good impulse to follow. I didn't know my extended family very well, but I did know that they had a religious aversion to many non-Abrahamic superstitions.

On the day that the ordered package would have arrived, my roommate kicked me out--embarrassing, but true--and I stayed with the extended family. The package, I was notified by e-mail, was filed as undeliverable.

Don't take that job, my intuition told me. This was a feeling of aversion, rather than words.

I countered the feeling with the thought that it's time for me to stop being so lazy and make a little extra money that I could actually use.

The contract should have been simple enough to fulfill, even with an earlier deadline, and I ended up investing three days into almost-done work that the client cussed me out for asking for an extension--and felt justified in not paying.

Better cut class today, my intuition told me, again with the feeling a little lighter than laziness, like something egging me on to do something.

I wasn't bed-ridden and ill. There was no way to justify it. Sure, it was raining, but I had to stop using that as an excuse.

Traffic was terrible. I arrived too late to actually get anything out of the lecture, and got soaked to my socks. When I returned home, I actually did catch the flu that left me bed-ridden for a solid week.



I wish it were as simple and clear-cut as Zener cards. Face-down, simple symbols, not attached to any commentary on human values-- just mechanism.

Instead, it's only a passing moment, that I just don't like interfering with my life, when I'm not honing my extra-sensory perception at that time. It doesn't even go further than that, no, "Tell your friend not to put all her eggs in one basket, here's the general direction she should pursue..." No, "Don't take that job because that client has a very incompatible temperament and you can't do it. It will hurt you." No, "Skip class today so that you can attend all of the ones next week."

There's a quality to it that I keep trying to pinpoint, but every time I do recognize it, it's the worst possible advice to give at the time so I don't follow it. I wish it were more integrated with my reasoning. It just seems silly for the only explanation I ever have for why or why not, is, "I'm going to go with my gut feeling on this."